It's
Christmas Eve morning and I am excited for whatever the day brings especially
the coming of the birth of Jesus and the blessings and grace that await each
new day.
This
morning I’m also reflective with emotions and thoughts about my dad who died 21
years ago on Christmas Morning and my mom who died 25 years ago in November. In my heart I know that they are together in
heaven celebrating with Jesus and all those I love who have gone home to glory
and that brings peace and comfort to my heart.
And along
with it, so much gratitude because my parents left us with so many wonderful
traditions and family memories, family was everything to them. They also
instilled in us a spirit of gratitude and I am so grateful that never was there
ever a time that I talked to my mom or dad that I did not tell them how much I
loved them.
I was
by mom’s side when she drew her last breath and I saw the love in her eyes as
she was leaving this world for the next.
And four years later I had the grace of talking with my dad less than 12
hours before he died. In that conversation he reminded me that I was his “baby
girl” or as he would tell me in his sweet Italian accent “his littlest flower”. Daddy was an avid farmer/gardener with the
greenest of thumbs and with three daughters he would always tell me that he had
three flowers. And I was the baby sister of the family and his “littlest flower”.
There is no sadness in these memories, only
gratitude for the grace of them.
However,
over these years it’s been my experience that grief comes in waves. Some years and sometimes the waves lap at my
feet, others they knock me over with a power I don’t see coming.
This
year I’m feeling the loss in a powerful way, especially because the past few
years with COVID it has been difficult to see my family. But a visit from my niece and her family last
month, throwing myself into our family traditions, baking, cooking, sweet reminders,
and remembrances that come to mind and together with my beloved, planning and
preparing to host his families Christmas gathering brings a great deal of joy and
excitement to see everyone and share a meal around my parents dining room
table.
And while
there is certainly joy in this beautiful season and the birth of Jesus, it is
also a time of sadness, loss, and remembrance of those who have passed on and are
no longer with us.
And in
gatherings, missing those who can't be with us by distance, choice,
circumstance, estrangement, strained and broken relationships, whatever the
reasons, for there are so many different scenarios, situations, and
circumstances as there are people.
So,
this year my beloved and I decided to do a Novena to the Holy Family. We started on Wednesday, the 21st
and will end on December 30th the Feast Day of the Holy Family this
year. We are praying for forgiveness,
healing and reconciliation of relationships, the family tree and intergenerational
healing for our families and all families.
And I would add to that intention my prayer for us all that the grace
and blessing of this beautiful season brings peace, comfort, and deep joy to our
heart in whatever tradition we celebrate and to our individual circumstances.
And
at the risk of offending and being preachy…….. sorry, not at all sorry ….. this
comes from a daughter who loved and respected her parents and elders in general. And misses them so much!! I pray that if you haven’t talked to your dad
or mom lately, grandparents, family….. that you find the courage to reach out
in grace, we never know what tomorrow may bring. This life is too precious and too short to
have regrets.
Lastly,
I pray that wherever I find myself, that I am present to those around me and to
the grace that always abounds, and I pray the same for you.
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